Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
