Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
