I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
