i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
