No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
