After last night, I could never be a politician.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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