Banned from zoo.
Again?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
