i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
