he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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