My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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