Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
