She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
