He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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