I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
