so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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