I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
