First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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