yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
