I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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