I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
