I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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