i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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