Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
