lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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