you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
