So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
