Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
