im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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