this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
