He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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