drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
