omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
