Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
