Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
