My nipple is on Facebook.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This toilet bowl is my home.
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