but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
