I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
