billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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