He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
