Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
