She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
