please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
