It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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