once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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