i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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