Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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