ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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