Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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