Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
