there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
