I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
