it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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